Emmett's diary
by kill me tomorrow
Summary: Who knew our most muscular Cullen kept a pink diary? Too bad the others had to find out. Revenge is sweet, isn't it Emmett? AIM style. First fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **_I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything._

_First fanfic. Please inform me if I did something wrong or did something that broke the rules. And tell me how to improve it._**  
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**Chapter 1

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

Jacob – **WerewolvesRule**

_BiteMe has logged on._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hey Bella! Emmett.

**BiteMe:** Hi Emmett!

**IAintDumb:** Bellaaaa!

**BiteMe**: Your screen name sooo doesn't suit you, Emmett.

**IAintDumb**: It doesn't?

**BiteMe:** Nope! You're the total opposite! :D

**IAintDumb:** HAR-HAR!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** What? No 'Hello, Alice'?

**BiteMe:** Do you hear something, big brother?

**IAintDumb:** Why no, little sister.

**HypedUpShopaholic**: God, you guys suck!

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_EC&BS has logged on._

**EC&BS:** Dare I ask why Alice is planning on burning both of your closets?

**BiteMe:** Whaaaat?! She wouldn't!

**IAintDumb:** Craaaap!!! My diary!

**EC&BS:** She would.

**BiteMe:** I'm going to burn her!

**BiteMe:** Whoa. Hold that thought, Emmett has a diary?!

**IAintDumb:** Errr. No, I don't!

**EC&BS:** Yeah, he does. It's pink too! It wasn't long after the rest of us found out. I read it once but then he hid it somewhere else.

**BiteMe:** Why'd you put it in a closet? That's a weird place to keep a diary.

**IAintDumb**: No, I don't own a pink diary! And, it's because it's the last place where they would look for.

**BiteMe:** HAHA! What did you read, Edward?

**EC&BS:** Before I tell you that love, why don't you save your clothes first before Alice drags you to the mall to buy new clothes.

**BiteMe:** Oh yeah.

_BiteMe is away. AutoMessage: Alice Mary Cullen! Don't you dare open my closet!_

**ED&BS:** Aren't you going to go save your clothes?

**IAintDumb:** Naaaaaah!

**ED&BS:** Why not?

**IAintDumb**: I'd rather walk naked around the house.

**EC&BS:** Errr. Oooookay.

_EC&BS has logged off._

**IAintDumb:** sigh

_IAintDumb has logged off._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_MamaBear has logged on._

_Doctor101 has logged on._

**MamaBear:** Where's Emmett?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I told him there were unicorns wrestling ponies in the forest.

**IFeelYou:** Why would you do that?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I needed to tell you the good news.

**IFeelYou:** What's the good news?

**Doctor101:** I was in a meeting. Better hurry. What is it?

**EC&BS:** You better make this good.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I'll tell you when Bella's online and ho yeah, its reaaaaaally good.

**EC&BS:** I'm using Edward's account, Alice.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Ewww, are you two doing it right now?

**EC&BS:** mmmmaybe, mmmaybe not.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ewwwww!

**IFeelYou:** That is DISGUSTING!

**MamaBear:** Now, now kids.

**Doctor101:** Really Alice. Make it quick. The meeting's about to continue in 15 minutes.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Okay okay! I found Emmett's diary!

**EC&BS:** Really?

**IFeelYou:** I've been looking for that piece of shit for the past year! Where'd you find it?!

**MamaBear:** Haha. My my, you kids are so curious nowadays.

**Doctor101:** That's it? That's the good news? Sigh. I thought you found my wedding ring. It's gone missing since last month.

**MamaBear:** You lost your wedding ring?!?!?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Damn.

**Doctor101:** Uh-oh!

**IFeelYou:** Run, dad, run!

**Doctor101:** I will, son. I will.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Carlisle got busted!

**MamaBear:** You can run! But you can't hide! You have to come up sooner or later!

**Doctor101:** Don't wait up for me, honey!

**EC&BS:** Haha.

_Doctor101 has logged out._

**MamaBear:** Your father is so careless, sometimes. I better go search for his ring.

_MamaBear has logged off._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Okay, back to business. You want me to read it for you guys?

**EC&BS**: Sure!

**IFeelYou:** Hell yeah!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I don't like the idea of you reading my husband's private thoughts and feelings.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** He said he looked cuter than you in the pink, bunny costume.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** He what?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Yeap, he did.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** He told me I was the cutest bunny he ever saw!

**IFeelYou:** Ouch!

**EC&BS:** That's gotta hurt.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Read it Alice! Read it!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** With pleasure!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

**IFeelYou:** Hey guys!

**BiteMe:** Hey Jasper, Rosalie, Alice. Edward.

**EC&BS:** Hello, love. Guys.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Alice, tell us more what's in Emmett's diary!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hello to you too Rose.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah yeah, whatever. Read!

**BiteMe**: Yeah Alice! C'mon.

**IFeelYou:** READ!

**EC&BS**: Please do.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Okay okay. Which one would you want to hear? The part where he was forced to eat dirt or his dreams of being a world-famous ballerina?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Good Lord. A ballerina? Thank God, he's really cute.

**BiteMe:** Ballerina!

**EC&BS:** I'm with Bella.

**IFeelYou:** Me too!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ballerina it is!

**BiteMe:** Yayy!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Dear diary, ever since I was a teeny-tiny newborn. I have always wanted to be a ballerina. A world famous ballerina, to be exact. Once, while the others were hunting and I was left to take care of Bella at home, when she was asleep, I ran upstairs and went through Rosalie's closet. I found a pink tutu! I tried it on but it was too tight. I think I ripped it. But I don't really mind. My dream was nearly coming true. Now, all I needed was the ballet shoes, a pair of tights and a tiara. I couldn't find any in Rosalie's closet. So, I went to Alice's closet. Boy oh boy was her closet packed. It's a jungle out there! Eventually, I found them and tried them on. The tiara was perfect, it matched my eyes. The tights on the other hand were torn to shreds the minute I slid them on. And the shoes fit! Who knew Alice had big feet!

**IFeelYou:** I think I just peed a little in my pants from reading that!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** No wonder my tutu was really loose!

**EC&BS:** Hilarious!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** My tights! I swear, when I find Emmett, I'm going to tear him and burn him to pieces! And I do not have big feet!

**BiteMe:** I will never see Emmett as the same person ever again.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I wasn't finished. Shall I continue?

**IFeelYou:** Hell yeah!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I looked myself in the mirror and no wonder Rosalie dated me. I wouldn't blame her though, if I was her, I'd date me too. I was breath-taking. After satisfied from looking at myself in the mirror. I went through Rosie's makeup and made myself more breath-taking-er. Then, I twirled and leaped and jumped and twirled some more. Right in the middle of my fun, Bella woke up. I stopped everything I was doing, took the ballerina outfit off and wiped my makeup. She just _had_ to wake up and ruin my fun! Humans! I will never understand them. And that, my dear diary, is how I nearly fulfilled my life-long dream of being a world-famous ballerina, that is, until Bella woke up. Stupid Bella!

**BiteMe:** He was the earthquake?! I am not stupid! He is!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Don't you call my husband stupid! I can't believe I married an idiot!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: The thought of him in a ballerina outfit scars me.

**IFeelYou:** HAHAH!

**EC&BS:** What earthquake, love?

**BiteMe:** Remember when I told you that I woke up to the feeling of the house shaking while you were out hunting with the others?

**EC&BS**: Yes, love.

**BiteMe**: I think that was Emmett. He kept twirling and leaping!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Haha.

**EC&BS:** Where is the world-famous ballerina wannabe?

**IFeelYou:** I think he went out hunting with Esme and Carlisle.

**EC&BS:** Ohh.

**BiteMe:** Anymore stories, Alice?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah. Anymore?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Well, there is one thing that I find hilarious.

**EC&BS:** Do share.

**IFeelYou:** Spit it out! Spit it out, you bitch!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: I can't believe you called me the 'B' word, Jasper Whitlock Hale! What would you feel if I called you the 'E' word?

**EC&BS:** Don't you mean the 'F' word?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Nope. The 'E' word.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Which would be?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Emo.

**EC&BS**: _*smirks*_

**BiteMe:** Haha. You guys fuss over the smallest things.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** _*rolls eyes*_

**IFeelYou:** No, please don't call me that. I'm sowee, Awice_. *pouts*_

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Apology accepted, Jazzy.

**BiteMe:** Sooo, now that your dilemma is over. Do you mind telling us what you find hilarious in Emmett's diary?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Okay okay. Emmett wrote in his diary that he's afraid of…

**BiteMe:** of?!?!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Emmett is afraid of Elmo.

**IFeelYou:** HAHAHAHAHA!

**BiteMe:** I think I'm crying! Haha.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Seriously? HAHAHAHA!

**EC&BS:** Haha. You're kidding me right?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Here's his exact words:

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Dear diary, I have never told anyone this before in my whole entire dead life, including Rosie. I'm telling you this because you won't tell people right? I think. Anyways, my deepest darkest secret is that I'm scared of Elmo. Yes, Elmo. I know what you're thinking, why would Emmett, a hot sexy muscular man be afraid of Elmo. Well, it's because, how on earth would a puppet, talk, walk, sing and plays piano without a help of a human?! And you never know what he's thinking! Just the thought of it creep's me out. Don't tell anyone. Shhh!

**EC&BS:** I've never laughed this much in my whole life!

**IFeelYou:** Me too.

**BiteMe:** Me three.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** If you think I'm laughing my ass off now, you should've seen me laugh the first time I read it. I swear, it wasn't pretty.

**IFeelYou:** I'll always find you pretty, Alice. *smiles*

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Awww.

**IFeelYou:** Race you to the bedroom?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ready. Set. Go!

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged off._

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Eww. Those two lovebirds keep going at it.

**EC&BS:** Hah! At least they do _it _in their own bedroom. Unlike you and Emmett, you do _it_ everywhere. Carlisle's office. The kitchen bench.

**BiteMe**: *smirks*

**EC&BS**: My Volvo. Janitor's closet. Emmett's jeep. Bella's room. I could go on.

**BiteMe:** You did _it_ in my room?!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Are you finished, Edward?

**EC&BS:** Yes

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** And yes, Bella. We did _it _once in your room.

**EC&BS:** cough liar cough

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Okay. Okay! 6 times! There! Happy?!

**EC&BS:** That's better.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Bella?

**EC&BS:** Love?

**EC&BS:** Great! Look what you did Rosalie! Bella's in shock!

**BiteMe:** I just can't believe you would do _it_ in my room. When?

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: While you and Edward went to Port Angeles.

**BiteMe:** And?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** That's it.

**BiteMe:** I thought you said 6 times.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Ermm. Yeah. 6 times.

**BiteMe:** Ohh. I get it.

**BiteMe:** Edward?

**EC&BS**: Yes, love?

**BiteMe:** Do you mind picking me up?

**EC&BS:** Sure. But why?

**BiteMe:** I want to buy a new bed. I don't want to use my current one anymore.

**EC&BS:** Okay then. Be right there, love.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Oh stop being such a drama queen!

_EC&BS has logged off._

**BiteMe:** I'll stop when you stop being a sex addict!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Touche'!

**BiteMe:** Edward's here. Bye!

_BiteMe has logged off._

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** But I like doing _it_.

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett –** IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_BiteMe has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

**EC&BS:** Hello, love.

**BiteMe:** Hi Edward!

**BiteMe:** Can you do me a favor?

**EC&BS:** Anything, love.

**BiteMe: **Change me, Edward.

**EC&BS:** I can't

**BiteMe:** Why?

**EC&BS:** I don't want you to lose your life just to be with me.

**BiteMe**: Put me out of my misery, Edward.

**BiteMe:** I can't take it. I can't help but realize, that one day, I just might lose you.

**EC&BS**: You have no idea how much I want to change you myself.

**BiteMe:** What's stopping you?

**EC&BS:** Please, Bella. Let's not talk about this right now.

**BiteMe:** Okay. I just want to tell you, I can't wait forever.

**EC&BS:** I know that. I'm aware. When the time comes, I'll change you.

**EC&BS:** I love you, Isabella Marie Swan.

**BiteMe:** I love you too, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**IAintDumb:** Eww. I swear, if you people get more mushy-mushy than that. I'll change her myself.

**EC&BS: **Over my pile of ashes!

**BiteMe**: It's okay Edward.

**IAintDumb:** Yeah, it's okay Eddie-poo.

**EC&BS:** That's it. McCarty, you're dead!

**IAintDumb:** I already am, smarty-pants!

_EC&BS is busy. AutoMessage: Emmett, enjoy the sunlight while you can, cause it's the last time you'll see it!_

_IAintDumb is away. AutoMessage: I don't like sunlight, Edward! Duhhhh!_

**BiteMe:** _*sigh*_

**BiteMe:** I guess boys will be boys.

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_MamaBear has logged on._

**MamaBear:** Why is Edward chasing Emmett with a chainsaw?

**BiteMe:** Long story, Esme. You don't want to know.

**IFeelYou:** Edward's chasing Emmett with a chainsaw?!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeap.

**IFeelYou:** Why didn't he tell me?! I wanna join the fun too!

_IFeelYou is away. AutoMessage: I wanna shred Emmett too!_

**BiteMe: **Like I said, boys will always be boys.

**MamaBear:** Has anyone seen Alice?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** She went to buy clothes.

**MamaBear:** When will your sister ever stop? _*sigh*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Don't look at me. We're not even related by blood.

**MamaBear:** Okay then. You two have fun.

_MamaBear has logged off._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

**BiteMe:** Hey Alice.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Oh my god! You two won't believe what I bought!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** More clothes?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ermm. That, and a whole set of Elmo dolls!

**HypedUpShopaholic: **Are you thinking what I'm thinking? _*evil grin*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I think I do.

**BiteMe:** I don't.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:**_ *sigh*_

**HypedUpShopaholic:**_ *sigh_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett –** IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_BiteMe has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Did you guys do exactly what I told you to do?

**BiteMe:** Yeap.

**IFeelYou:** Yes, dear

**EC&BS:** What if it doesn't work out?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** You know, for a really smart guy, you ask the dumbest questions ever.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** You're asking that to a psychic.

**EC&BS:** Gosh. You don't have to be mean about it!

**BiteMe:** its okay, Edward.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Okay. Let's repeat the plan one last time.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** We scatter the Elmo dolls all over our room.

**BiteMe:** Emmett goes into the room to see Elmo everywhere.

**IFeelYou:** He's scared and hides.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** He, then, text us in AIM to go into our room.

**EC&BS:** Then, we pretend not to see the Elmo dolls lying around.

**BiteMe:** Making him freak out, because he's the only one who can "see" it.

**IFeelYou:** Elmo "captures" us one by one.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Leaving him all alone,

**EC&BS:** We then, take him by surprise.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Perfect!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Emmett's home. Remember our plan.

_**-----In background, Emmett screams in high-pitch after he enters his room and hides in the closet------**_

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**IAintDumb:** Oh my god. You guys have to help me!

**EC&BS:** _*grins*_ why?

**IAintDumb:** They're everywhere.

**BiteMe:** What is?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** What's the problem?

**IAintDumb:** I have a secret.

**IFeelYou:** Do tell.

**IAintDumb: **I see…Elmo…everywhere.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeaaah, sure, whatever Emmett.

**IFeelYou:** We know you're messing with us.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Emmett, behind you! Elmo's attacking you with his cuteness!

_**-----In background, another high-pitched scream from Emmett-----**_

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Good one, Alice.

**EC&BS:** Haha

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Thanks.

**IAintDumb**: Don't scare me like that!

**IFeelYou:** There's no such thing, Emmett.

**IAintDumb**: Oh yeah? Well, why don't you come into our room and see for yourselves!

**IFeelYou:** Okay.

**IAintDumb:** Ermm. Can Edward come instead?

**EC&BS:** Why?

**IAintDumb:** Because you're braver. And you have to save me before they attack.

**IAintDumb:** Plus, I'm not sure if Jasper has the strength to carry me all the way downstairs.

**EC&BS:** Oh okay!

**BiteMe**: Be careful, Edward. Elmo might attack you with his cuddliness.

**EC&BS: **Haha

**EC&BS:** Okay I'm in your room.

**EC&BS:** I don't see anything, Emmett.

_**-----In background, Edward yells "Nooooo!"-----**_

_EC&BS has been disconnected._

**BiteMe:** Edward?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** What happened to Edward?

**IAintDumb:** Oh no! Elmo kidnapped Edward! I told you he was evil! He's coming after me next!

**IFeelYou:** I don't believe you. I'm coming in.

**IAintDumb:** Whatever you want, Jazzy.

_IFeelYou is away. AutoMessage: Stupid Emmett._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** There goes my knight and shining armour.

**IFeelYou:** Where are you, Emmett?

**IAintDumb:** In the closet.

**IFeelYou:** I don't see any Elm-

_**-----In background, Jasper screams, "Aliceeee! Help!"-----**_

_IFeelYou has been disconnected._

**BiteMe:** You know, I'm actually starting to believe Emmett.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I know.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** There has to be a good explanation to this.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** There just has to be…

**IAintDumb:** W-wh-why don't you three come in at the same time?

**IAintDumb:** You won't be scared if you come in at the same time, right?

**BiteMe:** Let's just do it. I want to help Edward.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Anything to get my Jazzy back.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I'm coming too.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** All right. Let's go then.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** But, just if anything does happen to the three of us, Emmett. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Remember that always Emmett.

**IAintDumb:** Rosalie! Don't do this. Its okay. Just let the two of them go in.

_**-----In background, all the girls scream-----**_

_BiteMe has been disconnected._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has been disconnected._

_HypedUpShopaholic has been disconnected._

**IAintDumb:** _*gulp* _

**IAintDumb:** I'm all alone now.

**IAintDumb:** Curse you, Elmooooooooooo!

_**-----In a different chatroom-----**_

**EC&BS: **HAHAHA!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I can't believe he suspects nothing.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeap. That's my idiot.

**BiteMe**: I bet he peed in his pants by now.

**IFeelYou:** Hopefully, he will pee in his pants.

**EC&BS:** No one's here to save him. Carlisle and Esme went hunting.

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Hahaha.

**BiteMe:** I feel bad for him though…NOT!

**IFeelYou:** I think its time to scare the crap out him now.

_**-----Back in the old chatroom-----**_

**IAintDumb:** Ohmygod.

**IAintDumb:** I'm scared.

**IAintDumb:** I'm all alone.

**IAintDumb:** I need Rosie!

**IAintDumb**: Where's mummy?

**IAintDumb:** Mummmmmmy!

**IAintDumb:** Help me. I hear something moving outside the closet.

**IAintDumb:** Maybe its Elmo.

**IAintDumb:** I'm gonna die!

**IAintDumb**: Might as well write my will since I'm going to die.

**IAintDumb:** Emmett's will; 1) All playboy magazines will be given to Carlisle.

**IAintDumb**: I guess that's it.

**IAintDumb:** Take me now, Elmo!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett –** IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_**Continuation to Chapter 6 **_

_**----- In background, Emmett's scream and the other's laughter----**_

**EC&BS:** You should've seen the look on your face, Emmett!

**IFeelYou:** It was priceless!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hahaha.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Poor Emmett…NOT!

**IAintDumb:** I can't believe you guys did that!

**BiteMe:** Suck it up, Emmett!

**IAintDumb:** I almost shit my pants!

**EC&BS:** Be a man, for God's sake!

**IAintDumb:** And Rosie, how could you do this to me?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** That's what you get.

**IAintDumb**: For?!

**IFeelYou:** That's for us to know, and for you to find out.

**IAintDumb:** Shit you guys!

_MamaBear has logged on._

_Doctor101 has logged on._

**MamaBear**: Hey kids.

**Doctor101:** Hello, children.

**Doctor101:** What's all this ruckus about?

**Doctor101:** I could hear Emmett's scream a mile away.

**MamaBear:** What have you been up to?

**IAintDumb:** Mommmmmy!

**MamaBear:** Yes, dear?

**IAintDumb:** Hug me!

**MamaBear:** _*hugs Emmett*_

**IAintDumb:** Edward, Bella, Rosie, Jasper and Alice were being mean to me all day!

**Doctor101:** What exactly happen?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Well, first of all…it was all the pixie's idea!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Nu-huh

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah-huh

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Nu-huh

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah-huh

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Nu-huh

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah-huh

**Doctor101: **Stop this instance! I don't care whose idea it was!

**HypedUpShopaholic: **Sorry

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **Sorry.

**MamaBear: **Now what happened?!

**EC&BS: **Well, we scared Emmett with a bunch of Elmo dolls.

**BiteMe: **He hid in the closet and told us but we pretend to didn't believe him.

**IFeelYou: **Then, he told us to come into his room and see for ourselves.

**HypedUpShopaholic: **We were then "captured" by Elmo one by one.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** We took him by surprise

**EC&BS: **That's it.

**Doctor101:** No wonder your brother's scared!

**MamaBear:** Now apologize to him!

**IAintDumb:** _*sticks out tongue*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde, HypedUpShopaholic, BiteMe, IFeelYou and EC&BS in unison:** Sorry, Emmett.

**Doctor101:** That's better.

**MamaBear:** All of you are grounded

**MamaBear:** That means, no shopping for Alice.

**Doctor101:** No Bella for Edward.

**MamaBear: **No fixing cars for Rosie.

**Doctor101:** No Edward for Bella

**MamaBear:** And no Oprah for Jasper

**Doctor101:** All for one week.

**IFeelYou:** What?! No Oprah for a week?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** But, how will I survive?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Emmett, I will kill you!

**EC&BS:** No Bella for a week?

**BiteMe**: You can't do this!

**Doctor101**: What's done is done.

**MamaBear:** Gotta go, kids. Play nice.

**Doctor101**: Me too. Bye.

_MamaBear has logged off._

_Doctor101 has logged off._

**IAintDumb**: _*gulp*_

**BiteMe:** Wait till I get my hands on you Emmett!

**EC&BS**: This is all your fault!  
**IAintDumb:** My fault?

**IFeelYou:** Yes! You know exactly what no Oprah does to me!

**IAintDumb:** You started it!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Why I outta-

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** No sex for a month!

**NotTheAverageBlond**e: Since I'm getting my torture, you might as well get yours.

**IAintDumb:** Why are you doing this to me, Rosie?!

**BiteMe**: That seems fair, Rosie.

**EC&BS:** Yeah, I guess.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** There's a storm tonight. Wanna play baseball?

**IFeelYou:** Anything to take my mind out of Oprah.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Sure.

**EC&BS:** I'm in

**BiteMe:** I can't come.

**EC&BS**: Why?

**BiteMe:** No Edward for a week, remember?

**EC&BS:** I'm so sorry, love.

**BiteMe:** It's okay. I wanna catch up on my reading anyways.

**BiteMe:** I have to go home now.

**EC&BS:** Be careful.

**BiteMe:** I will

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Bye!

**BiteMe:** Bye, guys

_BiteMe has logged off._

**IAintDumb:** Can I come?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** No.

**IAintDumb:** Why?

**EC&BS:** That's for making me not see my Bella for a week!

**IFeelYou:** C'mon guys. Let's get ready for the storm.

_IFeelYou has logged off._

_EC&BS has logged off._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**IAintDumb:** Hmphh! I hate you guys!

_IAintDumb has logged off._

_

* * *

  
_

**Author's Note:**

I'm really sorry about this chapter. I was very unsatisfied with it. I did make something similar to this but better. Seeing how careless I am, I forgot to save the damn chapter. I tried to remember what I wrote but it all didn't came up. I'm sorry.

**If you have any ideas, please tell me, cause I'm short on them.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett –** IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

Jacob –** WerewolvesRule**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_WerewolvesRule has logged on._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Yesterday was fun!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I haven't had that much fun for a long time!

**WerewolvesRule**: You blood-suckers disgust me!

**EC&BS**: We were talking about baseball you mutt!

**EC&BS:** Why are you here anyway?

**WerewolvesRule**: What's in it for me?

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: A sore ass.

**WerewolvesRule**: I know what you are, but what am I? _*sticks out tongue*_

**IFeelYou:** A mutt?

**EC&BS:** Good one, Jazzy!

IFeelYou: Don't call me that!

WerewolvesRule: _*rolls eyes*_

**WerewolvesRule:** Hey Eddie. I know what you are!

**EC&BS:** What, mutt?!

**WerewolvesRule:** Womanizer. Woman-Womanizer. You're a womanizer .Oh Womanizer. Oh you're a Womanizer Baby. You, You, You Are .You, You, You Are  
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer.

**IFeelYou:** Haha!

HypedUpShopaholic: That is so true!

NotTheAverageBlonde: Eddie got burnt!

**EC&BS:** You want a piece of me, mutt?

**WerewolvesRule**: Bring it on!

**EC&BS**: I'm Mr. Lifestyles of the rich and famous (You want a piece of me) I'm Mr. Oh my God that Edward's Shameless (You want a piece of me) I'm Mr. Extra! Extra! this just in (You want a piece of me) I'm Mr. he's too big now he's too thin (You want a piece of me)

**WerewolvesRule:** HAHAHA! Touche'

**IFeelYou:** I did not see that coming!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I wanna play that too!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Okay! Let's play.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Rules: It has to be from a song. The funniest wins.

**EC&BS**: Okay

**WerewolvesRule:** I'm playing too, right?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Well, duhhh! You started the game!

**WerewolvesRule**: Yayy!

**IFeelYou**: Less talking, more singing.

**NotTheAverageBlonde: ** Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong. Move along, move along like I know you do. And even when your hope is gone. Move along, move along just to make it through. Move along. Move along.

**IFeelYou:** They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'. Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know. I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine. He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go.

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Cause you're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in then you're out. You're up then you're down. You're wrong when it's right. It's black and it's white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up. (You) You don't really want to stay, no. (But You) But you don't really want to go-o. You're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're down.

**EC&BS: **Gimme Gimme more. Gimme more. Gimme gimme more [x4]

**WerewolvesRule:** Where is the love (The love). Where is the love (The love). Where is the love? The love, the love

**IFeelYou:** Touch my body. Put me on the floor. Wrestle me around. Play with me some more. Touch my body. Throw me on the bed. I just wanna make you feel. Like you never did. Touch my body. Let me wrap my thighs. All around your waist. Just a little taste. Touch my body. Know you love my curves. Come on and give me what I deserve. And touch my body.

**WerewolvesRule**: HAHAH!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Jazzy wins the first round!

**EC&BS:** I'm going to win next!

**WerewolvesRule:** Nu-huh!

**EC&BS: **Yeah-huh!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Can we just continue?!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Just dance. Gunna be okay. Da-doo-doo-doo. Just dance. Spin that record babe. Da-doo-doo-doo. Just dance. Gunna be okay. Duh-duh-duh-duh. Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance.

**EC&BS:** So live your life, ay ay ay. Instead of chasing that paper. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Ain't got no time for no haters. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. No telling where it'll take you. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Cause I'm a paper chaser. Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh). Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh)

**IFeelYou:** Bounce (like yo' ass had the hiccups). Bounce (like we was ridin' in my pick-up). Bounce (why you lookin' so sad? baby girl you need to cheer up). Bounce (I got the remedy, it's you on me and me on you. And you on me and me on you and you on her. Then her on me and her on you and y'all on me. Then me on y'all and y'all on me. Menage a trois, menage a tr-uh-uh)

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I'm slippin' into the lava. And I'm tryin' keep from goin' under. Baby, who turned the temperature hotter? 'Cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for you baby

**WerewolvesRule**: mmm mmm m m m m. Gonna button my lip So the truth dont slip mmm mmm m m m m m. Gotta beep out what I really wanna shout. Woops Did I say it out loud, did you find out. I wanna have your babies. Get serious like crazy. I wanna have your babies. I see 'em springin up like daisies

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Whose baby, Jacob?

**EC&BS:** Haha!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Jake wins round 2.

**WerewolvesRule**: Thanks!

**IFeelYou:** Don't mention it dude.

**EC&BS:** Round 3!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** When the pimp's in the crib ma. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. When the pigs try to get at ya. Park it like it's hot. Park it like it's hot. Park it like it's hot. And if a nigga get a attitude. Pop it like it's hot. Pop it like it's hot. Pop it like it's hot. I got the rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Sean Don. And I roll the best weed cause I got it going on

**IFeelYou:** I wanna make love in this club. In this club. In this club. In this club. I wanna make love in this club. In this club. In this club. In this club.

**WerewolvesRule:** No one could ever know me-No one could ever see me. Seems you're the only one who knows, what it's like to be me. Someone to face the day with-Make it through all the rest with. Someone I'll always laugh with-Even at my worst I'm best with you. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Glaciers melting in the dead of night. And the superstar sucked into the supermasssive (Ooh ooh ahh, you set my soul alight). Glaciers melting in the dead of night. And the superstar sucked in so...(Ooh ooh ahh, you set my soul...). Supermassive black hole. Supermassive black hole. Supermassive black hole. Supermassive black hole.

_BiteMe has logged on._

**EC&BS:** I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny. That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist. And a round thing in your face. You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough. 'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed. Deep in the jeans she's wearing. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha. And take your picture. My homeboys tried to warn me. But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny. Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin. You say you wanna get in my Benz?. Well, use me, use me. 'Cause you ain't that average groupy. I've seen them dancin'. The hell with romancin'. She's sweat, wet. Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette. I'm tired of magazines. Sayin' flat butts are the thing. Take the average black man and ask him that. She gotta pack much back. So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!). Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!). Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!). Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back!

**WerewolvesRule:** HAHAHAHA! That's a really good one, Edward!

**EC&BS:** Thanks!

**IFeelYou:** I can't stop laughing!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Me too! Hahaha!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Never thought you had it in ya.

**BiteMe:** Oh my god!

**EC&BS:** Hello, love!

**WerewolvesRule:** Hey, Bells!

**EC&BS:** What's wrong, love?

**BiteMe:** I never thought such a thing would exist!

**WerewolvesRule:** What?

**BiteMe:** All of you are getting along with Jake!

**EC&BS:** Ohhh.

**WerewolvesRule:** Who would've thought a blood-sucker wasn't all that bad.

**EC&BS:** You're not so bad yourself, mutt.

**IFeelYou**: What are ya? Gay?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** _*snickers*_

EC&BS: Shut up Jasper!

**WerewolvesRule**: I'm straight!

**BiteMe:**_ *rolls eyes*_

BiteMe has logged off.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I'm going hunting. Care to join?

**EC&BS:** Yes, please.

**IFeelYou:** Alice, wanna come?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Sure.

**IFeelYou:** Lets go then.

_IFeelYou has logged off._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_EC&BS has logged off._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**WerewolvesRule:** I'm not gay!

**WerewolvesRule:** Stupid Jasper!

_WerewolvesRule has logged off._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note:**

_Songs used-_

_Womanizer - Britney Spears_

_Piece of me - Britney Spears_

_Move along - the American Rejects  
_

_Rehab - Amy Winehouse  
_

_Hot n' Cold - Katy Perry  
_

_Gimme, gimme more - Britney Spears  
_

_Where is the love? - Black Eyed Pease  
_

_Touch my body - Mariah Carey  
_

_Just dance - Lady Gaga ft Colby O'Donis  
_

_Live your life - Rihanna ft TI  
_

_Bounce - Timbaland ft Missy Elliot and JT  
_

_Burnin' Up - Jonas Brothers  
_

_I wanna have your babies - Natasha Bedingfield  
_

_Drop it like its hot - Snoop dogg  
_

_Love in this club - Usher  
_

_I'll be there for you - The Remembrandts (Friends theme song)  
_

_Supermassive Black Hole - Muse  
_

_I like big butts/Baby got back - Sir Mix-a-lot  
_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic **

_EC&BS has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

**EC&BS:** Wajja want, Emmett?

**IAintDumb:** I have a question.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** For the last time, Emmett. Babies do not come from outer space!

**IAintDumb:** They don't?

**BiteMe:** No. Who would tell you such a thing?

**IAintDumb:** Jasper.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Why'd you do that?

**IFeelYou**: He kept asking questions after questions.

**IFeelYou:** So I decided to mess with him.

**IAintDumb:** Does that mean, the moon isn't made of cheese?!

**EC&BS:** No! It's made of rocks.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: And that's that.

**IFeelYou:** Your question?

**BiteMe:** Yeah, shoot!

**IAintDumb:** But, I don't have a gun and I don't want to shoot you, Bella.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: She didn't mean literally!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Can you be anymore stupid?

**IAintDumb:** Yes. Yes, I can,

**HypedUpShopaholic:** The question!

**IAintDumb:** Oh yeah

**IAintDumb:** How'd you guys know I was terrified of Elmo?

**EC&BS:** Ermm. Alice should know the answer to that.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I-I-I-I had a vision.

**IFeelYou:** Uh-oh.

**IAintDumb:** You're lying!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** No, I'm not!

**IAintDumb:** Yes, you are!

**IAintDumb:** You stuttered. That means you're lying!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** No, I'm not.

**IAintDumb:** Yes, you are!

**IAintDumb:** be right back.

**BiteMe:** What if he finds out?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** We're talking about Emmett here.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** He can barely tell the difference between an orange with an apple.

**IFeelYou:** Why do I feel a sudden burst of anger?

**IAintDumb:** Where the hell is my diary?!

**EC&BS:** How should we know?

**BiteMe:** Maybe you misplaced it.

**EC&BS:** Yeah!

**IAintDumb:** I searched everywhere!

**BiteMe:** How can you search everywhere? You've been away for 2 minutes.

**IAintDumb:** Vampire speed, Duhhhh!

**EC&BS:** Ummm. I'm going to….the Volturi

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I'll come with you!

**IFeelYou:** Me too!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Me three.

_EC&BS has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged off._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**BiteMe:** I'm gonna….fall off the stairs.

_BiteMe has logged off._

**IAintDumb:** I'll get my revenge! Even if it's the last thing I do! Muahahaha!

_IAintDumb has logged off._


	10. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I'm really short out of ideas. But, I do know one thing for the following chapters. Emmett gets to embarrass the others by reading their diaries. Emmett finally gets even. But, the thing is, I have no idea how to embarrass any of them. The only thing I cam up with was Edward. I'm not so sure for Bella, Rosie, Jazzy and Alice. So please, any embarrassing suggestions?

-oneofthemfans.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**BiteMe **– Bella

**EC&BS **– Edward

**WerewolvesRule** - Jacob

**IFeelYou **– Jasper

**IAintDumb **– Emmett

**HypedUpShopaholic **– Alice

**NotTheAverageBlonde **– Rosie

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

**IAintDumb:** Helloooooo.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** What's up with you?

**IAintDumb:** Ohh, Nothing in particular.

**IFeelYou: **Freak.

**IAintDumb: **Now, now Jazzy.

**IAintDumb: **You don't want me to spread your secret to the guys, do you?

**IFeelYou: **What secret?

**IAintDumb: **Don't play stupid.

**BiteMe: **Are you blackmailing Jasper?

**IAintDumb: **Yeap

**EC&BS: **Why?

**IAintDumb: **To get even with you guys for the Elmo thing.

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **We didn't do anything.

**EC&BS: **We're innocent. Innocent, I tell you!

**IAintDumb: **That's what they all say.

**EC&BS: **Whatever.

**IAintDumb: **Look, there's a cat behind you, Edward!

_**----In background, Edward screams "GET IT AWAY!" Emmett roars laughing and enters Edward's room and picks up the cat saying "Aww, did big, meanie scare you?" and leaves-----**_

**IAintDumb: **Haha!

**BiteMe**: Whoa. What was that, Edward?

**IFeelYou: **did Eddie-Weddie get scared by wittle kitty-cat?

**EC&BS: **Shut up, Jasper.

**HypedUpShopaholic: **I didn't even know you were scared of cats.

**EC&BS: **All right, all right. I might as well tell you, guys.

**EC&BS: **Yes, I'm scared of cats.

**IFeelYou: **Why?

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **Wow. Big surprise. Who would've known Mr. Perfect had a flaw?

**EC&BS: **I don't know. I'm just scared of them.

**EC&BS: **Zip it, Rosalie.

**HypedUpShopaholic: **But Edward, you eat them for breakfast.

**EC&BS: **Those are mountain lions, these are cats!

**BiteMe: **_*sigh*_ and I thought I was going to marry a perfect guy.

**EC&BS: **Nobody's perfect, love.

**BiteMe: **Now, you tell me?

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **By the way, whose cat did you steal, Emmett?

**IAintDumb: **I am hurt, Rosie. I can't believe you would accuse me in stealing a cat.

**IFeelYou: **Well, you did manage to steal 7 cats behind our backs.

_WerewolvesRule has logged on._

**WerewolvesRule: **Hey, Emmett. Where's Mrs. Muffin?

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **Mrs. Muffin?

**BiteMe: **Huh?

**IAintDumb: **He's right here, Jake. I'll drop her off at La Push later.

**IFeelYou: **Who's Mrs. Muffin?

**WerewolvesRule: **Seth's….

**WerewolvesRule: **Hey, guys.

**EC&BS: **Hey, mutt.

**IFeelYou: **Anything new?

**WerewolvesRule: **Did you guys know that Seth imprinted?

**HypedUpShopaholic: **He did? Can I be his wedding-planner? Pleaseeee? _*pouts*_

**WerewolvesRule:** I don't think so.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Why?

**WerewolvesRule:** Complicated.

**BiteMe:** Who's the lucky girl anyway?

**WerewolvesRule:** ….

**EC&BS**: Lemme guess, Mrs Muffin?

**WerewolvesRule:** Who told you?!

**EC& BS: **That little voice inside of your head.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Seth imprinted on a cat?!

**IFeelYou: **Wow.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I don't think 'Wow' even covers it.

**IAintDumb:** Is that even legal?

**WerewolvesRule:** Don't tell anyone. He'll kill me!

**BiteMe:** Sure, Jake.

**EC&BS**: Now you have both, Bells.

**BiteMe**: Both of what?

**EC&BS**: A dog _and _a cat!

**WerewolvesRule:** Laugh all can. At least, he's not a 108 year old virgin.

**IAintDumb**: Burn, Eddie.

**EC&BS:** Shut up, Emmett. You're still not off the hook for telling people I'm scared of cats.

**EC&BS:** How'd you know I was scared of cats, anyway? I kept that secret damn well.

**WerewolvesRule:** Tough guy is scared of a cat?!

**WerewolvesRule:** Shocking.

**EC&BS:** Laugh all you want, mongrel.

**WerewolvesRule:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**IFeelYou:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**EC&BS:** What the hell, Jasper?

**IFeelYou:** I couldn't take it. I've been holding it in since you told us.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Let's join in, Rosie.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Right ahead of you.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**IAintDumb:** Since they're doing it. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

**WerewolvesRule:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**IAintDumb**: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**IFeelYou:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hysterical!

**EC&BS:** Traitors.

**BiteMe:** It's okay Edward. I'll never laugh at you.

**EC&BS**: Thanks, lo-

**BiteMe:** Even if you are scared of cats.

**EC&BS:** Oh just laugh, already!

**BiteMe:** Thanks. HAHAHAHAHA!

**EC&BS:** You guys so fucking suck!

_EC&BS has logged off._

**WerewolvesRule:** I can't believe I'm crying!

**BiteMe:** I better go comfort him.

_BiteMe has logged off._

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I'm going to go shopping, wanna come, Alice?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Music to my ears.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Do you even have to ask?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I guess not. Let's go then.

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**IAintDumb:** Hey! Alice can't go shopping!

**IFeelYou:** Shut up! Let's go watch Dr Phil!

**IAintDumb:** How about a deadly match of Guitar Hero 3?

**IFeelYou:** That works too.

_IAintDumb has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged off._

**WerewolvesRule:** Hellooooo?!

**WerewolvesRule:** Stupid leeches. They forgot me. _*sniffs*_

_WerewolvesRule has logged off.  
_


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:**

_Sorry for the lack of updates. I had writer's block. Oh and I might not update as regularly anymore. I'm tangled between school, home, tuition and extra classes. Plus, my second most important exam in my whole entire life results' just came up. I'm quite disappointed with myself. So yeah. You can't blame a girl from trying.. And thanks for those who reviewed and gave some suggestions. _

Chapter 11

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Emmett –** IAintDumb**

Rosalie – **NotTheAverageBlonde**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hey Emmett. Hi Rose.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Hello Al.

**IAintDumb:** Hiya, pig.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Excuse me?

**IAintDumb:** I saaaaaid, hiya pig.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Emmett!

**HypedUpShopaholuic:** Why would you call me a pig?

**IAintDumb:** Because you are.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Well, you're a selfish, idiotic jerk!

_HypedUpShopaholic is away. AutoMessage: I hate you, Emmett! I never want to see_ _your effin' face again!_

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Why would you call Alice a pig?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** She did nothing to you!

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: You're the pig!

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

**IFeelYou:** What did you do to Alice?!

**IAintDumb:** I called her a pig.

**IFeelYou:** What did you call my wife?!

**IAintDumb:** Let's take this slow.

**IAintDumb:** A. P-I-I-I-I-I-I-G!

**IFeelYou:** That's it. You're going down, chump!

_IFeelYou is busy. AutoMessage: I'm going to kick your ass, Emmett!_

_IAintDumb is away. AutoMessage: Here we go again._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

**BiteMe:** Honey, what's wrong with the others?

**EC&BS:** Judging from what they're thinking. Jasper wants to rip Emmett's organs to shreds.

**EC&BS:** Alice is crying on the inside and wondering something I can't put out. I guess she blocked me.

**EC&BS:** Rosalie is thinking on a way to punish Emmett for the way he treated Alice.

**EC&BS:** And Emmett is thinking why they named a planet after your anus.

**BiteMe:** After my what?!

**EC&BS:** You know, Uranus, the planet.

**BiteMe:** Ohhh. That makes more sense.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I hate Emmett so much!

**EC&BS**: What exactly did he do?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** He called me a pig!

**BiteMe:** Why?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** That's what I kept asking.

**BiteMe**: What the?

**BiteMe:** Edward, may I join Jasper in kicking Emmett's ass?

**EC&BS:** Sure, love.

**EC&BS:** But we have to listen to both of their sides.

**BiteMe:** Fine!

**IFeelYou:** How do you like me now?!

**IAintDumb:** Okay, okay.

**HypedUpShopaholic**: I hate you Emmett!

**IAintDumb:** So, what else is new?

**EC&BS:** Why did you call her a pig?

**IAintDumb:** Why do you keep asking me the same questions?

**BiteMe:** you douche'!

**IFeelYou:** You better explain.

**IAintDumb:** Fine. Fine. I know when I'm out numbered.

**IAintDumb**: Do you want me to tell them, Alice or should you do the honour?

**HypedUpShopaholic**: What the hell are you talking about?

**IAintDumb:** I'll give you a few hints.

**IAintDumb:** Alaska.

**IAintDumb:** Party.

**IAintDumb:** Pig.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** How the?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** How did you know?!

**IAintDumb:** I have my ways.

**EC&BS:** Can someone care to explain?

**IFeelYou:** I'm a twee bit confused.

**IAintDumb**: Lemme tell you the story.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** If you want to live to see tomorrow, you better not tell them.

**EC&BS:** Just tell us!

**IAintDumb: **So we were hunting, and Alice wanted to go shopping.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Don't you dare, Emmett!

**IAintDumb:** Oh I would.

**IAintDumb:** Or would you like to tell the story yourself?

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Fine! I still hate you!

**IAintDumb:** Tell Rosie to go online!

**BiteMe:** Just hurry up!

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** What the f is it Emmett?!

**IAintDumb:** Alice has something to tell us.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Shut up Emmett.

**IFeelYou:** Tick tock tick tock.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** You will regret this, Emmett!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** For God's sake, just tell us!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Alright.

**IAintDumb:** _*snickers*_

**HypedUpShopaholic:** It took place before we moved to Forks. We were still in Alaska. The rest of you went to go hunting, but since I just went hunting the week before, I didn't come.

**HypedUpShopaholic: **While you were out, Tanya called and told me there was going tobe a party at Irene's house later that night. You remember Irene right?

**EC&BS: **Brown eyes, black hair.

**IAintDumb: **Smokin' hot body…

**NotTheAverageBlonde:**_ *clears throat*_

**IAintDumb: **Not as hot as my Rosie-kins.

**IFeelYou: **Nice save.

**BiteMe:** Continue,

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Right, as I was saying. Before I could ask what sort of party it was, Tanya hung up. Seeing that it was October 31st at that day, I thought it was a costume party. I went to the costume shop but all they had left was an outfit of a pig.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I was really late. And the party started half an hour ago. I set aside all of my fashion senses and-

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Whoa. Wait, you set aside your fashion senses?!

**BiteMe:** What were you? Drunk?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I will regret that moment till the day I die.

**EC&BS:** Finish the story.

**IAintDumb: **_*grins*_

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I paid the cashier and changed in the car. I went straight to Irene's house. _*sigh*_

**IAintDumb:** Here come's my favourite part.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I entered the house. All eyes were on me. There I was, dressed as a pig when everyone else was dressed in tuxedo's and ball gowns. They laughed at me. I ran to the car and drove back to our house. Not even looking back, I can still hear their laughter in my head till this day. That's the story.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** You happy now, Emmett?

**IAintDumb:** That didn't sound embarrassing at all.

**IAintDumb:** That sounded more like hurt.

**EC&BS:** Gee, you figured that out in half an hour?

**EC&BS**: You really are the smarts in this family, Em.

**IFeelYou:** Aww. Sorry, baby.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Its okay, Jazzy.

**IAintDumb:** Ermm. I'm sorry Alice. I never thought that would hurt you so much.

**BiteMe:** Me too.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** It's fine.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Stupid Tanya.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Again, that's what you get for ignoring your fashion sense.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I guess so.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hey, Emmett.

**IAintDumb**: Yes, Al?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** How the hell did you figure out about that story?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I kept it secret for a loooong time. How did you know?!

**IAintDumb: **Err. Oooh, look, a butterfly.

_IAintDumb has logged off._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** How did he know?

**IFeelYou:** Its okay, babe.

**IFeelYou:** Why don't you come into our room? Let me comfort you.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I like the way you think.

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged off._

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Back to the car.

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**EC&BS:** What are you up to, love?

**BiteMe:** I just realized that the week passed.

**EC&BS:** That means I could see you again.

**BiteMe**: Why don't you come here?

**EC&BS:** Be there in a few minutes.

_EC&BS has logged off._

_BiteMe has logged off._

**Second Author's Note:**

_This chapter is pretty depressing. I guess my writings revolve around my mood. If I'm happy, my writing would be hilarious. If I'm sad, I might write a pretty depressing story. Stupid exam results!_


	13. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

Bella – BiteMe

Edward – EC&BS

Rosalie – NotTheAverageBlonde

Jasper – IFeelYou

Emmett – IAintDumb

Alice – HypedUpShopaholic

Esme – MamaBear

Carlisle – Doctor101

Jacob – WerewolvesRule

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**BiteMe:** Hey guys

**EC&BS:** Hello love. Guys.

**IFeelYou:** What's up?

**IAintDumb**: The ceiling, duhhh! And I thought I was the dumb one.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** You still are, honey. You still are.

**IAintDumb:** Hey hey hey. Guess what?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** What, my enthusiastic Emmett?

**IAintDumb:** I know something you don't know.

**IAintDumb:** Except for Bella.

**BiteMe:** What do you mean, "except for Bella"?

**IAintDumb:** Oh nothing.

**EC&BS:** What the hell is it, Emmett?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Tell us, for heaven's sake!

**IFeelYou:** What is it?!

**IAintDumb:** DuringBella'sSpeechCompetitionWhichByTheWayWasInFrontOfHerEntireSchool, OnHerWayUpStageForHerSpeech, SheTrippedOnTheStairsAndDownGoesBella, SheBlushedALotAndTheWholeSchoolLaughedAtHerOnStage!

_IAintDumb has logged off._

**BiteMe:** Oh my God!

**BiteMe:** How the hell did he know?

**IFeelYou:** _*snickers*_

**HypedUpShopaholic:** That's not nice, Jasper.

**EC&BS:** I'm so sorry, love.

**BiteMe:** It's okay. What's in the past stays in the past.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** I can torture Emmett later if you want.

**BiteMe:** Please do.

**HypedUpShopaholic**: Is it just me or does Emmett know each one of our deep secret?

**EC&BS:** You know what? You're right.

**EC&BS:** I've never told anyone about my cat phobia.

**IFeelYou:** You mean your scream-if-you-see-a-cat-pass-by-phobia?

**EC&BS:** You're so funny, I forgot to laugh.

**EC&BS:** Sense the sarcasm?

**BiteMe:** Let's just keep an eye out for Emmett.

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Yeah. His last targets are Jasper and me.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I'm thinking he's going for Jasper next.

**BiteMe:** Wait, can't you see the future?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Wait, can't you trip on air?

**BiteMe:** Touché

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I can't see him. It's all a blur. He hasn't made a decision yet.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** What about you, Edward?

**EC&BS**: He's singing Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend in Taiwan.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** You know what Jasper? You might as well tell us your secret now.

**IFeelYou:** When pig's fly!

**HypedUpShopaholic**: That's a pretty good idea actually.

**EC&BS:** Its either you tell us or

**BiteMe:** We let Emmett tell us, along side his comments and sarcasm.

**IFeelYou:** Fine!

**IFeelYou:** Ireadromancenovels.

**EC&BS**: By romance novels you meant porn?

**IFeelYou:** No. Romance novels as in real romance novels.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Wow.

**IFeelYou:** I learn a lot from them! How to kiss, how to do "it", how to satisfy your woman.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ohhh! So that's where your dirty ideas came from!

**IFeelYou:** Yes, Alice.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Well, why don't you show me something new you just read. _*winks*_

**IFeelYou:** Sure!

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_IFeelYou has logged off._

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Kids nowadays.

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**EC&BS:** So, it's just you and me, love.

**BiteMe:** You make that sound like a problem!

**EC&BS:** What? No. No.

**BiteMe:** Why can't you be more like Jasper?!

_BiteMe has logged off._

**EC&BS:** What does Jasper have that I don't have?

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

**HypedUpShopaholic:** His dick.

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

**EC&BS:** Screw you Alice!

_EC&BS has logged off._

**Author's Note: **

I'm sorry I haven't updated as regularly as I used to. My English teacher told me to write an essay about our upcoming independence day, which she just informed to me yesterday, so I thought why pressure, I'm sure its dued next week, I still got plenty of time. WRONG! It turns out I have to submit it tomorrow! It's 10:30pm and I'm stressing. I can't believe I still have time to write this chapter. Wow. I must be that bored. Again, I might not update as often. I'm thinking 15 chapters are enough for this story.

P/S:

I wrote a new story. It's called **"A Happier Ending".**

Summary:

_At 15, Edward leaves Bella to move to London. He promised to comeback for her. Now, at age 23, all of Bella's best friends are happily married. When will her happy ending take place?_


	14. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Rosalie –** NotTheAverageBlonde**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Jacob – **WerewolvesRule**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

**IFeelYou:** Has anyone seen Esme?

**EC&BS:** No, why?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** What's wrong?

**IFeelYou:** Nothing.

**IAintDumb:** I think, I know! He wants to borrow Esme's romance novels!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah, so?

**IAintDumb:** What do you mean 'yeah, so'?

**BiteMe:** She meant, 'so what?'

**IAintDumb:** Am I missing something here?

**EC&BS:** Yes, dear brother.

**IAintDumb:** That would be?

**EC&BS:** Your brain.

**IFeelYou:** OMG that has GOT to hurt.

**BiteMe:** ……

**IAintDumb:** Did you just say 'OMG'?

**IFeelYou**: Your point?

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Ummm, Jazzy. You do know that girls only say that?

**IFeelYou**: God, what is wrong with the world?! They're so sexist.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** It's not them, you're just gay.

**IFeelYou**: I am not!

**IAintDumb:** Hey! It's not his fault he sings Disney songs in the attic!

**BiteMe:** Whoa. Rewind and rephrase-

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Y-yo-you sing Disney?

**IFeelYou:** Dammit Emmett! How the hell did you know?!

**IAintDumb:** It's called magic!

**IFeelYou:** Magic, my ass!

**EC&BS**: I thought you already told us your deepest darkest secret, Jasper!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** What the hell, Jasper?!

**IFeelYou:** I didn't want any of you to make f-fu-fun of me.

**EC&BS:** And look how that turned out?

**BiteMe:** So Emmett, what songs does he sing?

**IAintDumb:** Mostly everything.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** By everything, you mean just a few songs, right?

**IAintDumb**: Nope.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Then?

**IFeelYou:** Don't tell them, Emmett.

**IFeelYou:** I'd do anything! Spare me!

**IAintDumb:** I'm so sorry, Jasper! I never knew what came over me. I really am truly sorry. Cross my heart and hope to…live? Can you ever forgive me? I'd do anything to make it up. I'd kiss your feet. Hell! I'll kiss Bella if you want me to!

**EC&BS:** Wtf?

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Emmett Cullen! How dare you?!

**BiteMe:** I'm shocked.

**IAintDumb:** It's not my fault! Jasper was making me feel all guilty!

**EC&BS:** Jasper!

**IFeelYou:** All right, all right. Sor-ry!

**IAintDumb:** As I was saying before I was impolitely interrupted.

**IFeelYou:** Don't!

**IAintDumb:** He sings every song in Disney! From HSM to the background music that played when Bambi's mom died!

**BiteMe:** Bambi's mom died?!

**EC&BS:** You haven't seen it?

**BiteMe:** No! I never got to the ending. I can't believe she died!_ *cue tears*_

**BiteMe:** Thanks a lot, Emmett!

_BiteMe has logged off_.

**EC&BS:** See what you did?!

**IAintDumb:** It ain't my fault I didn't know.

**IFeelYou**: No! It is your fault for being so nosy!

**EC&BS:** I'm going to go to Bella's.

_EC&BS has logged off._

**IAintDumb**: Jerk!

**IFeelYou:** Brown-noser!

**IAintDumb:** Dr Phil wannabe!

**IFeelYou:** Thumbsucker!

**IAintDumb:**_ *gasps* _oh no you didn't _*snaps fingers in Z formation*_

**IFeelYou**: oooo, I just did!

**IAintDumb: **Hey, where's Rosie and Alice?

**IAintDumb:** This is the usual part they threaten us for no sex if we don't stop arguing.

**IFeelYou:** Oh yeah.

**IFeelYou:** Alice? Rosie?

**IAintDumb: **Is it me or do I hear I Don't Dance from HSM2 in the background?

**IFeelYou:** In fact, I do.

**IAintDumb:** I think it's coming from Rosie's room. Let's check it out.

_IAintDumb is busy. AutoMessage: I don't dance.__I know you can. Not a chance.  
If I could do this, well, you could do that. But I don't dance. Hit it out of the park! Uh-oh._

_IFeelYou is away. AutoMessage: I don't dance. I say you can. Not a chance. If I can do this and you can do that, but I don't dance. Sing it, Emmett!_

_**----a few minutes later----**_

**IAintDumb:** HAHA! _*rolls on floor laughing*_

**IFeelYou:** My eyes! HAHAHA!

**HypedUpShopaholic: **Can't us girls get some privacy around here?!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Yeah! So we were jumping on the bed to I Don't Dance! It doesn't give you the right to laugh your asses off!

**IFeelYou:** I'm sorry, it's just that….

**IAintDumb:** You literally can't dance!

**IFeelYou**: HAHAHA!

**IAintDumb**: HAHAHAHA!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Hmphh! You will pay!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Grr! Don't tell us we didn't warn you!

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged off._

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged off._

**IAintDumb**: Hahaha.

**IFeelYou:** They're up to something.

**IAintDumb:** I don't care! Haha! I'm still laughing my ass off!

**IFeelYou:** You don't care, huh? What if I tell you Rosie just sold your Jeep in E-Bay?

**IAintDumb:** She did what?! How would you know?!

**IFeelYou:** I'm looking at it now on E-Bay. 'Shitty, ugly Jeep for $0.99'

**IAintDumb:** Oh no! And for 0.99!

**IFeelYou:** HAHAHA!

**IAintDumb**: Laughing our ass, are we now?

**IFeelYou: **Yes! HAHA!

**IAintDumb:** HAHAHA!

**IFeelYou:** Why are you laughing?

**IAintDumb:** Alice just burnt all of your Oprah DVD collections!

**IFeelYou:** What?! No!

**IFeelYou has logged off.**

**IAintDumb**: What the hell?!

**IAintDumb:** This MikeN. just bought my Jeep! Why does that name sound so familiar?

_IAintDumb has logged off._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note:**

Can someone please tell me what OOC means? I'm a bit confused. So what do you think of the new chapter? Sorry if I took too long. Oh and I just updated A Happier Ending.


	15. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14.**_

Bella – **BiteMe**

Edward – **EC&BS**

Carlisle – **Doctor101**

Esme – **MamaBear**

Emmett – **IAintDumb**

Alice – **HypedUpShopaholic**

Rosalie –** NotTheAverageBlonde**

Jasper – **IFeelYou**

Jacob – **WerewolvesRule**

_HypedUpShopaholic has logged on._

_EC&BS has logged on._

_IFeelYou has logged on._

_BiteMe has logged on. _

_NotTheAverageBlonde has logged on._

_IAintDumb has logged on._

**IAintDumb:** I hate you, Rosie!

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **I love you too, Emmy.

**IAintDumb:** This is all your fault!

**IFeelYou: **How could you, Alice?

**IFeelYou:** You know it took me more than a decade to collect those!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** You talk too much, Jazzy.

**IFeelYou:** And you shop too much.

**EC&BS:** May I ask why a bunch of 100 year old vampires are fighting like 10 year olds?

**BiteMe:** I'm confused.

**EC&BS:** It's okay love.

**EC&BS:** Now someone please tell me, what the hell is going on?

**IAintDumb:** Rosie sold my Jeep on Ebay! On EBAY!

**IFeelYou:** And Alice burnt my whole Oprah DVD collection.

**BiteMe:** Alice! You burnt Oprah! Nobody burns Oprah!

**HypedUpShopaholic: **Since when do you care Bella?

**BiteMe:** Since Obama became president!

**IFeelYou:** Thank you, at least somebody understands me.

**EC&BS:** Emmett, why is Mike driving your Jeep?

**IAintDumb:** Because he's an ass! Wait, what?!

**BiteMe:** He's driving your car; we thought you lent it to him.

**IAintDumb:** Shit. You've done it now, Rosie.

**IAintDumb:** You've unleashed a beast!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Not that's just plain sad, Emmett.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Yeah. We did warn you.

**IFeelYou:** Warn-scwarn.

**IAintDumb:** What the hell, Jasper? That was beyond lame! Let me handle this.

**IFeelYou:** Fine!

**EC&BS:** Love, are you there?

**BiteMe:** Yeah.

**EC&BS:** What're you doing?

**BiteMe:** Just enjoying the show.

**EC&BS:** Oh, okay then.

**IAintDumb:** Wanna hear Rosie's secret, everyone?

**BiteMe:** This just got interesting. Hold it; I'm going to get popcorn.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** _*rolls eyes*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Tell them, Emmy! They know all my secrets!

**IFeelYou:** Muahaha.

**IAintDumb:** That just ruined the moment, Jasper. Way to go!

**IFeelYou:** Why is everything my fault? Heck, blame me for global warming.

**EC&BS:** Well, you did cause global warming.

**IFeelYou:** So what else is new?

**BiteMe:** On with the show!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Like I said, you have nothing against me.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Back me up, Alice!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Yeah!

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **That's it? Even I could've done that!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Well, why didn't you?

**IAintDumb**: As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. Wanna hear Rosie's secret?

**EC&BS:** Ehh, what the heck? Sure

**BiteMe:** Wouldn't hurt.

**IFeelYou**: Tell us!

**IAintDumb:** Rosie has a crush on Michael Jackson! In fact, she wants to _do_ Michael Jackson!

**BiteMe:** Oh.

**IFeelYou: **My.

**EC&BS:** God.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** HAHAHA!

**BiteMe:** HAHA!

**EC&BS:** _*laughs ass off*_

**IFeelYou:** damn! That's too much for me to handle in 2 seconds! HAHA!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** How did you know?!

**IAintDumb:** I didn't. You just told us.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Alice, don't laugh! You're supposed to be on my side.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I'm...sorry…I couldn't… help it! HAHAHA!

**NotTheAverageBlonde: **But, can you blame me? I mean, have you seen him? _*drools*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Have you seen him in Thriller?! God! It should be illegal to be that hot!

**IAintDumb**: Hey! What about me? _*pouts*_

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** What about you?

**IAintDumb:** I have never been so insulted in my whole life!

**IAintDumb:** Where are the others?

**EC&BS:** Oh sorry. We're still laughing.

**IFeelYou:** Esme's going to be mad when she comes home

**IFeelYou:** I think I just broke her one of a kind antique table.

**BiteMe:** How?

**IFeelYou:** I pounded my fist on it from laughing.

**EC&BS**: You should blame it on Rosalie. She's the one who caused you to laugh.

**IFeelYou: **True.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Arggh! I hate you, Emmett!

**IAintDumb:** I love you too, Rosie!

**BiteMe:** Emmett?

**IAintDumb:** Hmm?

**BiteMe:** How did you know our secrets when we didn't even tell you?

**IAintDumb:** I read your diaries.

**IFeelYou:** You what?!

**BiteMe:** What the hell, Emmett?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** I'll get my payback!

**EC&BS:** But I don't own a diary.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** You are so dead.

**IAintDumb:** Yeah yeah. You guys are major drama queens.

**IAintDumb:** And oh yeah, I read your diaries and a journal.

**EC&BS:** What the fcuk, Emmett?!

**EC&BS:** You're in for it now!

**IAintDumb:** To the secret hiding place, men!

**IFeelYou:** You mean, under the bed, don't you?

**IAintDumb:** Umm. To the second secret hiding place, men!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Behind the couch?

**IAintDumb:** Retreat! Retreat! They're onto us! We've been hit! Mayday! Mayday!

_IAintDumb has logged off._

**EC&BS**: Let's get back at him.

**BiteMe:** We're going to get back at him for getting back at us?

**IFeelYou:** Exactly.

**BiteMe:** Cool!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** On it!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Hey, we're talking about my husband!

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** Hell, let's do it!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Let's get codenames!

**EC&BS:** Fine!

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: Alice can be PixieStick!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** And Rosie can be WickedWitch!

**NotTheAverageBlonde**: What the hell, Alice?!

**HypedUpShopaholic:** Oh shut up! I'm not a big fan of PixieStick as either.

**IFeelYou:** Bella can be TripsALot

**BiteMe**: Okay, I'll be TripsALot. Edward, you can be Debussy.

**EC&BS**: Sure, I like it. Jasper can be MajorJazzy.

**IFeelYou:** What? That sucks.

**EC&BS:** That's for picking my fiancée TripsALot.

**IFeelYou:** But she does! Oh fine!

**BiteMe:** And we can call the mission: Mission Attack Teddybear!

**EC&BS:** A bit childish, but hey, who's complaining.

**IFeelYou:** Mission starts in T Minus 10 seconds.

**IFeelYou:** 10.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** 9.

**BiteMe:** 8.

**EC&BS:** 7.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** 6.

**IFeelYou**: 5.

**HypedUpShopaholic:** 4.

**BiteMe:** 3.

**EC&BS:** 2.

**NotTheAverageBlonde:** 1.

**IFeelYou:** 0.

**EC&BS:** Let the battle begin. _*evils smile*_

* * *

Author's Note:

When Bella said 'Since Obama became president' that was clearly not an insult. Just wanted to make it clear.

* * *

**VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE VOTE IN REVIEWS.**

Second author's note:

I might start on a third story, it's a crossover. I won't settle down on She's the man, Cinderella or Harry Potter, since some of my friends are already planning their stories using those. I need something original and it has to be from a movie and not from a book, well, mostly because I've only three novels in my entire life. So far, I've thought of crossingover Twilight with;

1. Princess Diaries  
2. The Accidental Husband  
3. Parent Trap  
4. Knocked Up  
5. It's a boy girl thing  
6. Enchanted  
7. What Happens in Vegas  
8. Beauty and the Beast  
9. Friends  
10. The Nanny

I know what you're thinking 'Friends The and Nannym are series. How is she going to end it?' Here's the thing. I am going to make it end. Unless I start a sequel. I was thinking on doing Enchanted, well clearly because I've always wanted that fantasy meets reality theme. It looks so fun to write, but then again, I want to do Friends or The Nanny. So choose from the listed above, I dont really mind. Please and thank you.

oneofthemfans.

P/S;  
I might change their story line a bit, fyi.


End file.
